


(Ain't No) Rest for the Wicked

by Serenityreview



Category: Damien (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Sacrifice, Crossover, Dialogue Heavy, Goats, Investigations, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Beta Read, POV Third Person Limited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2018-12-15 13:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11806653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenityreview/pseuds/Serenityreview
Summary: Damien meets the Devil and finds out that he isn't the Antichrist after all. Life gets stranger after that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Only Begotten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608356) by [astolat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astolat/pseuds/astolat). 
  * Inspired by [The Goat Thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145546) by [NarcolepticUnicorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarcolepticUnicorn/pseuds/NarcolepticUnicorn). 



> I got this idea after reading the Only Begotten 'verse by astolat and watching Damien. I didn't like the show all that much to be honest but it got me to the idea of what happens if Damien wasn't actually the Antichrist and this fic was born.

Lucifer was going to kill whomever started that blasted goat rumour. He can’t go a month without someone sacrificing some hapless farmyard animal in his name. It was usually a goat or a chicken. He’s gotten the occasional cow too. They clutter up Hell with their incessant cries and they distract the demons from doing their jobs. The goats also liked to climb everywhere. It was turning Hell into even more of a menagerie and he was going to put a stop to it. 

As soon as he heard the invocation coming in, he grabbed Maze and flew up onto the mortal plane. The cultists were wearing black robes whilst standing in a slaughterhouse lit up by candles. It couldn’t get any more clichéd than the poor goat tied to the table bleating fearfully at the man holding the knife to its throat. 

“Dear me, can you get anymore _clichéd?_ ” Lucifer said. Maze snickered.

The cultists all looked at them in surprise. The man holding the knife eventually stepped toward Lucifer and said, “This is a private meeting, sir. You are trespassing on my property.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes skywards, of course their leader would be an old man with a white beard. _So fucking clichéd._

“Oh, but you invited me here,” Lucifer replied with a grin. “You were all ready to sacrifice that goat to me, which by the way I wish you’d stop doing since I’m not trying to start a petting zoo in Hell.”

The old man gave him a skeptical look, so Lucifer flashed his true face at him. The room burst into a series of hysterical cries afterwards. Someone tripped on their robe and slammed face first into one of the hanging axes. A woman got pushed into the candles and now was flailing on the floor trying to put herself out. The leader of the group clutched his chest and dropped on to his knees whilst muttering his praise.

Maze was ready to start torturing some fools but Lucifer wanted to scare them some more first, “Speak, what were you trying to get out this anyway? Why should I respond to your request?”

“My Lord, we’ve been keeping an eye on your son for the past thirty years. We’ve been preparing him for the day of his accession.” 

Lucifer stared at him.

“You have a son?” Maze turned to Lucifer.

“I can assure you that if I had a son on Earth I would know about it.”

“But the signs were all there! The boy is the Antichrist!” The old man protested. 

-

“Who are you?” Damien demanded as soon as he saw the two strangers in his apartment. “Are you from Armitage!?”

“Armitage? No.” The man in the white suit said, “We are from some where far worse.”

Damien snorted. What could possibly be worst than a satanic cult trying to start the end of the world? 

“Well, what do you want?” 

“I’ve been informed that you are the Antichrist.”

“Are you here to kill me?”

“Why would I kill you? You are clearly not the Antichrist.”

Damien tried to stamp down the relief that flooded him; he still had no idea what these two were playing at or how they got into his apartment.

“Oh, I wouldn’t relax yet, Damien. You are not my child but you are still a half-demon,” Lucifer then turned to Maze. “Which raise the question of which demon had sneaked out of Hell to have a child that they are passing off as the Antichrist?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Damien said, now very confused.

“I should really introduce myself, shouldn't I? Hi, I’m Lucifer Morningstar the current Lord of Hell and this is Mazikeen.”

Damien stared at him blankly, “You’re the Devil?”

“Yes, dear boy. Do try to keep up.”

“I don’t believe you,” Damien said.

Lucifer flashed his true eyes at the half-demon. Damien flinched. 

-

“So what do I do now?” Damien asked Lucifer after showing him and Maze the pictures of the old woman that haunted him his entire life. Of course it would be one of the higher ranked demons that escaped Hell and decided to kick start the Apocalypse by hook or by crook.

Lucifer looked at the half-human with his ridiculous cheekbones and the dark circles under his eyes and couldn’t find it within himself to abandon Damien. Maybe it was because of the fact he had seen what happened to half-humans all too often, they gain their powers too young and it lead them to madness. Most of them commit suicide and end up in Hell, often crying in relief to be rid of their mortality.

The fact that Damien made it to his thirtieth birthday was nothing short of a miracle and even then it was probably because of the cult that controlled his life from birth and the demon that followed him around to ensure his safety. And the thought of a parent controlling their child’s entire life just to fulfill some predetermined purpose simply didn’t sit well with him. 

“We’ll go take care of Moloch first, then we’ll deal with the rest of the cult.”

“And then?”

Lucifer considered it. Damien was coming into his full powers. If no one’s there to help him with controlling those powers, he’ll probably succumb and die because of them. And that would be such a terrible waste of such a pretty face.

“And then I’m going to take a vacation in L.A.”

“What!?” Maze said in alarm.

Lucifer ignored her and told Damien, “You can come with us to L.A. Get a new perspective on life and we will help you with your powers.”

“We will!?” Maze echoed. 

“Of course we will! Don’t you know that saying? Once you saved someone’s life you are responsible for it.”

-

In retrospect dealing with Moloch was the easy part. Maze always brings her demon-forged blades with her and was always happy to fight. Ann Rutledge and her boundless devotion to Damien, on the other hand, made Lucifer uncomfortable. He’d never met of true believer of Hell before and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

“She’s fucking creepy,” Maze said after they were out of her earshot, “Are you sure we can trust her?”

“She’s a true believer. You know how crazy they are,” Lucifer replied.

“Fucking creep,” Maze muttered as they walked into the elevator. Damien still has that dazed look on his face, like he couldn’t quite believe what was happening. 

“Stop looking so glum, Damien,” Lucifer said and dragged the half-demon in for a kiss. Damien went completely rigid at that. Lucifer pulled away and said, “Oh, will you relax?”

“I’m trying to,” Damien answered stiffly.

“Try harder then, your powers spilling are everywhere and I don’t want this elevator to malfunction.” 

"I don’t know how!” Damien yelled. His voice echoed strangely off the walls.

Lucifer sighed, “Alright, are there anything else you need to do here in New York? Because it looks like we need to start those training sessions sooner rather than later.” 

“My apartment,” Damien said and then he added quietly, “I should say goodbye to my friends.”

“You go do that and then we can go to L.A.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe Decker cannot figure out Lucifer Morningstar’s deal. She didn’t know how the man drove Jimmy Barnes to insanity or how he managed to persuade all those people into give up their secrets. Or who the man really was, since no records of him existed from before five years ago and she certainly didn’t buy his whole ‘I’m the Devil’ shtick. She asked Dan to investigate the finances of Lux, but it checked out. So she decided to follow the money and find out how a man who didn’t exist until five years ago had gotten the funds to open a place like Lux. 

It turned out that Lux only had one investor, which surprised Chloe, she had just assumed that Lucifer had gotten the money with those favours he liked to give out so much. The investor’s name was Damien Thorn and the money comes from his family estate. 

“This Damien guy is pretty damn unlucky, both of his parents died before he turned six and his ex-girlfriend died in a freak sinkhole outside of his apartment,” Dan said as he looked over Damien’s police records. 

“Yeah, well, he’s our only clue into Lucifer’s past,” Chloe said. “Can you look up his address?”

“Sure,” Dan said. “His address is listed as the penthouse in Lux and it appears that he lived in New York until five years ago.”

Chloe stared at Dan, “Are you sure?”

“That’s what’s listed here.”

“So they moved to L.A. at around the same time and lives together. Lovers or friends?”

“Judging by the way Lucifer flirts with everything that moves, I would say friends, unless they have an open relationship,” Dan replied with a shrug.

“You know what, I don’t really want to think about his love life. I’m going to see if I can talk to this Damien guy and find something useful,” Chloe said decisively before walking out of the room.

-

Chloe still couldn’t believe that Lucifer gave her the code for the elevator ride up to Lucifer’s penthouse. It was highly irresponsible of him to hand out such sensitive information to strangers, even strangers that he wanted to bed. She nearly tripped over the open suitcase in front of the elevator door. She let out a startled yelp as she tried to steady herself.

“Lucifer?” A muffled voice called out from inside the penthouse. A man walked out of the bedroom wearing a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. Chloe recognized him as one Damien Thorn.

“Damien Thorn?”

“Yes?”

“I’m Detective Chloe Decker and I wanted to ask you a few questions about Lucifer Morningstar.”

Damien looked at her and said, “Oh, you are that detective Maze was talking about. The one that shot Lucifer.”

Chloe’s cheeks flushed red at that. “Err, yeah, that.”

“Well, what did you want to know, detective?” Damien said as he walked over to the bar, “Lucifer loves to talk about himself, so I can’t imagine there’s anything I could add.”

“Let’s start with Lux, why did you invest money in it?”

“Lucifer wanted to open a club and I had the money,” Damien said as he pulled out a bottle of wine. “Do you want a drink, detective?”

Chloe politely declined the drink and continued with her questions, “So he didn’t give you a favour?”

“There was no need for a favour.” Damien said as he poured himself a glass. “He saved my life.”

“Oh,” Chloe wasn’t expecting that. “Do you know what Lucifer was doing five years ago?”

“Running Hell.”

“Don’t tell me you buy his ‘I’m the Devil’ shtick.”

Damien shrugged, “He _is_ the Devil. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

-

The conversation with Damien was a bust, especially when Lucifer showed up in the penthouse and greeted Damien with an open-mouthed kiss. Then he asked Chloe if she wanted to join in on the fun. She got out of there like a bat out of Hell. She didn’t know what else she was expecting. 

So far the people closest to Lucifer – Maze and Damien – all referred to him as the Devil. Maybe they were all in some kind of religious cult? Or maybe they took the reinventing yourself part of their new years resolutions too seriously. Chloe shook her head, what was she thinking? She obviously spent way too much time around Lucifer and the crazy was beginning to rub off on her. She consoled herself with the thought that at least the next case won’t involve Lucifer.

-

She jinxed herself. Of course Lucifer would attend a high-end fashion show and of course Lucifer would know Benny Choi. Damien was there too. He was photographing the event. Chloe still didn’t understand Lucifer and Damien’s relationship. They seemed to be much closer than just casual sex friends but Damien didn’t seem to pay any mind to Lucifer’s constant flirting. Maybe it had something to do with the whole ‘he saved my life’ thing. She pushed the thought aside. She had a job to do. 

She didn’t even want to know how Lucifer weaselled his way into a civilian consultant position. She had to prevent a gang war from starting and Lucifer wasn’t helping by insulting the gang members. It turned out his confidence wasn’t entirely unearned as Maze came out of nowhere and took out the danger with her crazy ninja skills. 

“Ass saved,” The leather clad woman said to Chloe she walked away. “His, not yours.”

-

“Why didn’t you bring Damien along if you brought your bartender along?” Chloe asked Lucifer after the case was solved. 

“Detective, you only bring Damien along to a volatile situation if you want everyone involved to die in a horrible accident,” Lucifer explained as if it was obvious, “I don’t know about you but I’d rather not find out that the building had shoddy construction the hard way.” 

Chloe stared him like he’d grown an extra head and said, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Lucifer shrugged and looked down at his phone. Chloe sighed; why did she even bother to try? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea where this fic is going.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan Espinoza didn’t know what to make of Lucifer Morningstar. He had disliked the club-owner on first sight. He liked the man even less once Chloe got shot on the Delilah case. He also didn’t like the way the man flirted with Chloe or how he never seemed to take anything seriously. He didn’t know how or why Chloe put up with Lucifer on her cases. The man was insufferable and his bartender/bookkeeper was terrifying. Suffice it to say that Dan wasn’t eager to meet another person from Lucifer’s admittedly small inner circle.

Damien Thorn was even more handsome in person - square jawed with high cheeks and broad shoulders; he could easily be on the cover of a glossy fashion magazine. Dan had no idea why Lucifer brought him to Palmetto Street. 

“Why did you bring him here?” Dan asked.

“Well, our therapist said it would be good if we spent more quality time together,” Lucifer answered. “So I thought I would show Damien what I do with the detective.”

“You have a therapist?” Chloe asked in shock.

“Oh, don’t act so surprised,” Lucifer said. “It’s the one from our first case together, Dr. Linda Martin.”

“The one you slept with!?”

“She’s quite flexible.” 

“That’s more than I needed to know,” Chloe stopped Lucifer from going into further detail.

“Oh, where are my manners,” Lucifer turned to Damien, “I don’t believe you’ve met. Damien meet Detective Douche, Detective Douche meet Damien.”

Dan resisted the urge to roll his eyes skyward and reached out to shake Damien’s hand, “Detective Dan Espinoza, nice to meet you.”

“Damien Thorn, nice to meet you too.”

-

“Okay, so Lucifer can play the seedy criminal element. Dan will stand in for Malcolm and I will play myself,” Chloe paused, “And Damien can watch.”

Dan tried not to fidget while Chloe reenacted that night. He wanted her to drop the case and stop digging. He nearly flinched when Lucifer pointed out that Aoudi wouldn’t want to kill his informant on the force. It wasn’t long for Chloe to guess that there was someone else watching the meeting that night. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw Damien moving towards the secret entrance. He tried to keep him face neutral. 

“Looks like the cops missed something,” Damien said as he pointed out the secret entrance. 

“So there was someone else here that night,” Chloe said. “And that someone shot Aoudi and Malcolm.”

“Look, Aoudi had a lot of enemies,” Dan said, trying to dissuade her. “Any one of them could have heard about the meeting and decided to take him out.”

“Maybe,” Chloe had that look on her face. The look that said she was going to get to the bottom of this no matter what. Dan was starting to feel antsy. He was so relieved when his phone rang that he didn’t notice the weird look Damien gave him. 

-

“Alright spill,” Lucifer said once they were out of the hearing range of the detectives. “You were giving Detective Douche that look.”

“He wasn’t happy when I found that secret entrance. In fact I don’t think he was comfortable in that place at all,” Damien said.

“So you think he had something to do with the Palmetto case?” Lucifer’s face lit up. “Now this is exciting! See? This why I like working these cases!”

“Yeah, I can see why,” Damien licked his lips unconsciously as he said, “So much misery just from being in that building. It’s lovely.”

“Careful dear, I don’t want you to bring down the house around us,” Lucifer slipped his hand under Damien’s chin and kissed him deeply. “Feel better now?”

“Yes,” Damien whispered breathlessly. The persistent need for misery and misfortune in his gut that flared up had settled down with Lucifer’s help.

“Good,” Lucifer grabbed Damien’s hand. “Now, we have an auction to attend.”

-

The auction was a bust and Amenadiel’s presence didn’t help at all. The angel kept on giving Damien an indiscernible look and for once the half-demon wished that his powers worked on other supernatural beings. Lucifer wasn’t happy to say the least and then Detective Decker had to ask for the fallen angel’s help on the Palmetto case. Damien shook his head; sometimes there were just no dealing with regular people. A piece of divinity out in the mortal world was a terrible thing. They had to find the wings.

-

Of course the dealer kept them in a glass case. Damien couldn't blame the man though. He was awed by the beauty of Lucifer’s wings too the first time he saw them. Then Lucifer had Maze cut them off and put away. Part of Damien mourned their loss but he would never admit that to Lucifer. Then Lucifer burned them and Damien couldn’t understand why.

“I realized what they were,” Lucifer explained, “They were relics, worth whatever someone was willing to pay for them.” He reached over and brushed Damien’s hair out of his eyes, “What can I say? I moved on to better things.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tired to stick to only Linda's POV, sorry if things get a little confusing.

“I must really thank you for the advice,” Lucifer said as he stepped into her office. “Bringing Damien along to the investigation was a brilliant idea.”

“You brought Damien to an active crime scene?” Linda asked in exasperated surprise. “That is not what I meant when I suggested you spend some more quality time with him and besides isn’t that illegal?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Lucifer dismissed with a wave of his hand. “It wasn’t an active crime scene. It was the detective’s pet project. I brought Damien along because I wanted to show him what the detective and I do on our cases.”

“And what did Damien think of this?”

“He found it rather fascinating,” Lucifer replied. “He thinks Detective Douche has something to do with the case. Speaking of which, they showed up at my party the other night and then left together to go to a thing. I just don’t get what she sees in that oaf."

“Well, I glad it worked out with Damien,” Linda said. “Now, let’s talk about your feelings toward what happened at the party.” 

-

Damien and Lucifer’s relationship confused Linda. The first time she met Damien was when Lucifer dragged the man to her office and then headed out the door. Apparently Lucifer had scheduled the appointment for Damien and didn’t tell him about it until they were inside the building.

Damien sat rigidly on the couch, looking very uncomfortable with the situation.

“Okay, Damien, if you don’t want to have this session then you don’t have to. I’ll talk to Lucifer about personal boundaries,” Linda said.

“No, it’s fine. I asked for this. It’s just the last therapist I went to…” Damien trailed off; his mouth twisted into a frown, “it didn’t work out so well.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Then why did you want to schedule a session with me?”

“I – I don’t know,” Damien looked at his hands, “I guess a part of me wanted to try therapy again and Lucifer vouched for you.”

“Then, how may I help you?”

-

“What was it that made you want to move to L.A. in the first place?”

Damien smiled, “Lucifer.”

That surprised Linda, “Is it because you and Lucifer are engaged in an intimate relationship?”

“More like casual sex partners,” Damien answered.

“And how does that make you feel?”

Damien shrugged, “It’s not like I expected monogamy from him.” 

“Do _you_ want a more intimate relationship with him than the one you currently have?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think these feelings about your relationship with Lucifer could be why you want to move back to New York?”

“I guess,” Damien sighed, “but moving back to New York wouldn’t do me any good.”

“You said that Lucifer was the reason you came to L.A. and I know he’s enjoying living here. So are you also enjoying L.A.?” Linda asked.

Damien mulled it over and said, “I like it better here. Too many bad memories in New York.”

-

The next time she saw Lucifer wasn’t during a scheduled appointment but for a case he and Detective Decker was working on. Although she had a sneaking suspicion Lucifer had a hand in getting her on the case in the first place.

“Well, we needed a therapist and we got you,” was Lucifer’s explanation when she asked. She let it go. She needed to focus on Dr. Shaw’s case files. 

-

She was actually happy to meet Chloe Decker. Since Lucifer talked about her lot, mostly complaints about how his charms won’t work on her or how much of a douche her ex-husband was. She was also happy that a new therapist moved into the office next door. She needed someone professional to talk to and she got to meet Maze.

-

“We’re closed,” said the woman behind the bar.

“You must be Maze,” Linda said. “You’re just as Lucifer described.”

Maze look at her with interest as she poured out a drink, “So you’re the doctor.”

“Call me Linda,” Linda reached out with one hand. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

Maze looked down at the offered hand and took a sip of her drink instead, “I’ve seen that look in women before. It won’t end well.”

“What won’t?”

“Sleeping with my boss. You’ll end up like all the others - trash left by the side of the road.”

“Interesting.”

“What?”

“Well, I find people who are rude usually feel powerless in their own lives, terrified of not being in control. But that’s not you, I’m sure.”

Maze gave her an impressed look, “I like you.”

-

Linda internally rolled her eyes as Lucifer repeatedly denied his jealousy toward Dan for occupying Chloe’s time. She really needed to talk another professional about this.

-

“I underestimated you before. I’m sorry,” Chloe said as Mrs. Shaw was put into a squad car.

“Not needed, but thank you.”

“And I thought – I thought you were sleeping with him,” Chloe said looking slightly embarrassed. 

“Oh, I did,” Linda confessed. “There’s something about him. It was very hard to stop, but I did.”

“Oh!” Chloe said with a shocked look on her face.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I don’t know if I should be asking this but what exactly is his relationship with Damien?”

“Oh, it’s complicated. Very complicated."

“So, do you think she did it?” Chloe looked to where the squad car containing Sandy Shaw was.

“No, I don’t think so. She just wanted her husband back.”

“Guess the cheater therapist wasn’t so good at cheating.”

“Why didn't he tell Dr. Medina he was using him as a cover story?"

“Maybe he did. Maybe he confided in Dr. Medina.”

“But Mrs. Shaw said that Dr. Medina had no idea about the affair.” 

“Yeah, so he conveniently told her everything she needed to know to figure it out.”

“We need to talk to Dr. Medina.”

-

It turned that Dr. Medina was the murderer. Jealousy can make people do crazy things. If only Linda can convince Lucifer what he felt was jealousy. Now that would make the day even better. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Maze but I suck at writing action scenes. *headdesk* 
> 
> Also does anyone else sort of ship Marcus/Lucifer? I like the ship name of PiercingStar.

Maze did not get humans. She did not get why Lucifer found them to be so interesting. She certainly didn’t leave Hell to become a bartender/bookkeeper for Lucifer. She didn’t sign-up for babysitting duties either. Damien was an utter bore, a complete prude, and was genuinely depressing to be around. The first orgy she and Lucifer dragged him to ended in blood and tears. It was fun but it just wasn’t the type of fun she wanted at the time. Eventually they figured out that Damien’s powers only affected mortals, so no more orgies for him. Not that Damien minded he hated crowds and parties. Even after five years of Lucifer’s influence and Maze’s training, Damien was still not fully in control of his powers but at least he stopped being a complete shut-in.

_“Maybe you’d be in better control if you didn’t wallow in your own misery all the damn time!” Maze yelled in frustration after a failed training session._

_“But I need it!” Damien countered. “I need the misery! I need the suffering! I need to see people suffer!”_

_Maze was taken aback by the admission and so was Damien._

_“Well, congratulations on figuring out your powers!” Lucifer called from the other side of the room. “We should celebrate!”_

But at least Maze could understand why Lucifer kept the half-demon around; he always had a soft spot for the half-breeds that end up in Hell. Maze just couldn’t understand why Lucifer was giving up so much of his time to hang around that detective and solve cases for her. She shot him and made him bleed! But Maze couldn’t convince him to leave the woman alone and Damien wasn’t even around for the first weeks of their acquaintance. Even when the half-demon came back he was of no help. Maze wanted to hurt something. Luckily Amendiel showed up at Lux. 

“I know why you’re here. I won’t help you,” she told him.

“One way or another, Maze, I am gonna change your mind,” Amendiel said. “You're gonna help me get Lucifer back to Hell. Don't make it painful.”

Maze laughed, “You forget. I’m a demon. I love pain.” 

Amenadiel caught the knife she threw at him with ease, “I'm an angel. You can't beat me, little demon. Stop and hear me out.”

“Men,” Maze groused. “They always want to talk.” She lounged at him, brandishing her knives and landing a couple of hits in before the angel pinned her arms above her head. She struggled but was no match for his angelic strength. 

“Enough! We want the same thing!” He yelled. 

“Oh, do we? Let's see,” Maze leaned in and dragged her tongue across Amendiel’s mouth. The angle let go of her arms and took a step back. “Uh-oh. Did I hit a nerve?” she teased. 

“Mazikeen, we both know that something has fundamentally changed in Lucifer. Now, aren't you even the least bit concerned?” 

“No. It's a phase. It'll pass.” 

“You're lying to me. You're lying to yourself. Now, we can help each other. We can get him back to where he belongs, if you could just provide me with a weak spot. Some insight,” he tried to persuade her once again.

“No means no,” she said she brushed past him.

-

“She shot you and you bled!?” Maze yelled.

“Yes,” Lucifer said. “Isn’t it exciting?”

“No! It’s not exciting! It’s dangerous! You don’t bleed!”

“Oh, it’ll be fine Maze,” Lucifer said whilst he poured himself a drink.

“No, it’s not fine!” Maze grabbed the glass out of his hand. “Tell me we are going home!”

“Oh, on the contrary Maze. The fun’s just begun.”

-

“He doesn’t confide in me anymore,” Maze told Amenadiel. “He has a doctor that he talks to now. A Dr. Linda Martin.”

“Thank you, Maze.”

They needed to go back to Hell.

-

She thought they were getting back to their usual groove when Lucifer’s wings had been stolen. She had fun torturing the thieves. Even Damien stopped being his usual dull self and joined in on the fun; although he went straight back to being his boring self right after he had his fill of misery. But then Lucifer decided they needed a professional’s help and brought that human detective on the case. She almost couldn’t believe it. She thought Lucifer would know better than to bring a mortal into this. She consoled herself with the fact that Lucifer had dragged Damien out with him that morning in the name of spending some quality time together. She told the half-demon to keep on an eye on Lucifer and hoped that they would find the wings. 

-

She was horrified when Damien texted her that Lucifer had burned his wings. She rushed out to the beach and found a charred mess. They were truly stuck on Earth now, she realized in horror. Maze shook her head and started to clean up the burnt remains of Lucifer’s wings.

-

“I cleaned up your mess on the beach,” she’ll never tell anyone about the feather she kept for herself. 

“I'm here to stay, Maze. And I truly hate to disappoint you, but well, this is where I have to be now. And I know, even with all the sex and drugs and more sex, this isn't what you bargained for. And I know you made a vow, but…” 

“But nothing,” Maze interrupted, “I am with you, Lucifer, from now until the end. We're a team, right?”

“Of course.”

“Now, let’s get you some ice.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can come and poke me on [my tumblr.](http://randomsakura.tumblr.com/)


End file.
